Many people believe that the supernatural realm doesn't exist, or if they believe in it, they believe that God (or whatever's out there) is "hand's off" and that ghosts, demons, angels and the like do not exist.
I've experienced the supernatural realm firsthand. I wrote this so that those who believe the supernatural doesn't exist can reconsider that belief. Everything written here is true and has happened, but for the sake of protecting the anonymity of those involved, I've changed the names of everyone, with the obvious exception of myself.
It all began when my mother died when I was about 20 months old. Although I have no memory of her, I've been told that she was a very religious woman who insisted to going to mass every Sunday and maintained an active role in the local Catholic church. She suffered complications of pregnancy which necessated the early delivery of my brother. She suffered a stroke shortly after the delivery and died two days later. My father was left with two babies to care for and his wife of six years dead. In his grief, he broke all relations with the Church and tried to raise both my brother and myself in an non-religious household.
My family moved around the time I was 8. My father was in the Air Force at the time, so it was common for us to move every few years. At the airport, a family friend gave my brother and I a King James Bible and though my father scowled disapproval, he didn't say anything and let us keep the bibles. When I was eleven, I became curious about God and what the meaning of life was. So I decided to become a Christian. I prayed for God to make everything perfect for me and I started to read my King James Bible starting from Genesis 1. This lasted a whole two days. I expected God to bow to my every desire when I prayed to Him. When I tracked mud in the house and consequently got scolded, I looked up to Heaven and denounced God. In my anger, I asked Satan to enter my life. Since God didn't make everything perfect for me, I fully expected Satan to fill the role, since he is God's enemy, after all. That also lasted about two days. When Satan didn't fit the role of the Cosmic Santa Claus that I was looking for, I decided that there couldn't be any spiritual realm after all and I became an atheist.
Satan didn't leave me empty-handed. After several months, I began to notice some unusual "talents" that started to manifest themselves. I would play card games and somehow just get this feeling that would let me know who is holding the winning hand, and what the next cards were. Odd dreams started to happen, and I began to wonder if I were psychic. Dropping the atheist shell like an out-of-style shirt, I embraced this "gift" as the true gateway to understanding the spiritual realm. After I did this, the weird feeling began to guide me when I had to make decisions. This feeling would also give me insight as to what other people were thinking, and I began to use this to manipulate people. However, the feeling wasn't good enough for me; I wanted more, so I began to pray to this feeling and seek its guidance more and more. Then, in early summer, 1985, I received what I knew had to be the creature's name: Liar. (Please understand-- this is NOT his real name, I changed it so that nobody would be tempted to use it for evil.) Then, Liar began to talk to me inside my head, giving me insight on what it was that was to come. He told me that I was to be a great prophet during the last days and that he was sent to guide me. He told me that he would reveal more to me as time passed, but until then I was to train.
Two days after my twelfth birthday, one of my odd dreams came true, and Liar told me that predicting the future was to be only one of the great gifts that I would have to learn how to use. Shortly after this, our family moved back to Southern California and I used this gift freely, telling people everything from what grades they were going to get on their tests to telling them the date of the Cataclysm that was to mark be beginning of the end: April 21st, 1994. (Needless to say, the information that he passed to me wasn't always accurate!) Well, this started a rumor that I could predict the future and I soon found myself mobbed by people wanting to know anything that I could tell them. In retrospect, it scares me to think of how many people are truly searching for eternity, and are willing to look anywhere but Jesus to find the Truth. Well, I couldn't take the stress of predicting the futures of a thousand adolescent kids, so I lied to them and made up outrageous conflicting stories just to get them to leave me alone. To my dismay, it worked all to well.
For an entire year after that, nobody would speak to me at all, except teachers and a hapless kid named Jeremy who was convinced that I was the true Messiah come to rescue the faithful, and he devoted himself to worshiping me. His mindless devotion actually repulsed me, but the more abuse I heaped onto him, the more he was convinced that I was just testing him, and the more he devoted himself to me. However, my only friend at the time was Liar, who stayed with me, continually instructing me to rely on my "gifts" so that I can call upon them at will when the Cataclysm occurs. When I was thirteen, I followed his instructions and constructed an altar and performed a ritual upon it, where I gave a burnt offering to what Liar told me was the Trinity-- which oddly enough there were four members of (Liar told me that Christians almost have it right, but that there is a fourth spirit that I needed to pray to as well). I was then told that Liar was in fact the Holy Spirit, and that I needed to let him into my heart during the ceremony, and let him have control over my body. Sadly, I agreed, and Liar became the lord of my life.
After I did that, things became fairly nice for a while, as I thought that by my very destiny that I was wholly superior to everyone. Liar began to instruct me in the nature of the occult, and taught me how to do candle divination using the altar I had constructed when I was thirteen. Jeremy moved away and is probably beating himself for foolishly following a false prophet like me. Slowly, I began to get friends again. I wisely kept my predictions to myself, though, for fear that they would set off another rumor like the one several years back. Liar then encouraged my arrogance and used it to make me believe that I was a great leader. Oddly enough, when my friends saw the confidence that I had, they asked me to lead the games we used to play. I even eventually became president of the war gaming club in high school. For some reason, an outward shell of arrogance in this world is attractive.
However, that shell was very brittle, indeed. During Fall, 1989, I became friends with Mary, a girl who was in my Latin III class and who was a teaching assistant with me for a science class right before lunch. Although I found her attractive, I seriously believed I was too superior to her for anything meaningful to ever happen. So, when we talked, I would mentally lift myself onto a platform by bragging about anything that didn't relate to the spiritual realm, for I felt that she wasn't ready for that. However, instead of either being repulsed or entranced by my silly show of super-machismo, she had the only reaction that I wasn't prepared for-- she cared about me as a human being. Liar insisted my attraction to her was merely physical, a passing thing that the lower people deal with because they don't have important spiritual missions, like I did. Well, for the first time, his lies couldn't agree with what was in my heart. I accepted Liar's words as true, but I became torn. It was like nothing I had never experienced before.
Near the end of November, the school was having a balloon send-off during AIDS Awareness Week. During Latin, I wrote what I thought to be a hilarious note stating that the Antichrist is walking the Earth; Jesus had returned and the time is drawing near for Armageddon. Since the High School is on a mountain ridge that overlooks the Los Angeles basin, if I tied the note to the balloon during the send-off, the balloon would likely pop over the city and someone could get the note falling from the sky, and freak. I showed this note to my brother and several of my friends, all of whom thought it was funny. Well, the send-off was during lunch, so I had the opportunity to show it to Mary before I sent it on its way. She read it, then looked at me with eyes that will haunt me to my grave, and said: "I actually believe this." (11-24-2000 Note: To clarify things, she did not believe in the contents of the note, rather her statement was that she believed in Jesus, as well as the Antichrist as written in the book of Revelation, and my note was an insult to her beliefs.) No blow could have been more painful. She was a Christian! Yikes! I couldn't believe it-- of all the people I could be attracted to, she had to be a Christian! It was then that the teacher came into the cubicle where we graded papers together and offered us a balloon each. Mary said that she was going to stay there during the send-off, and asked me to stay there and not send the note off.
It was the first time that I was standing between the Kingdom of Light and the Kingdom of Darkness. There were two roads for me to choose, and they were each clear as day. But, I had entrusted Liar with my life thus far, so I took his advice, grabbed a balloon, and sent it off along with the note. I chose to remain with what I was comfortable with: darkness.
Our friendship collapsed shortly thereafter. I tried to use my ability to affect another person's dreams and inserting thoughts into another person's mind via Liar to try to manipulate her into re-establishing our friendship, but it wasn't working. This was the first time that my gifts failed to affect someone else. Since she was a senior, Mary graduated at the end of the year and shortly thereafter I never saw her again. I have never had the chance to tell her that I'm sorry, or that making a public stand for Jesus one time would eventually open the doorway that would lead me to Christ. I pray that wherever she is, that the Lord fills her with the Spirit and blesses her mightily for making that stand for Christ, for her obedience to the Father's will allowed the Spirit to save my life.
(4-3-2008 Note: I'm happy to report that, after 18 long years, I'm back in contact with her! She now knows how she helped lead me to Christ and she's still a strong Christian herself. I pray that God continues to use her in the lives of others as he's used her in mine. And in response to the many e-mails I've received about this: no, I'm not in love with her-- no more than I have godly love for any other believer that is. It was a teenage crush I had many years ago. I have a great deal of respect for her and I always will. The Bible talks about people leading others to Christ being like spiritual parents. So if I had to describe my feelings toward her, I suppose I'd say it's not unlike the feelings I'd have for a mother.)
After she graduated in 1990, there appeared a rift in my heart that the Spirit continued to widen as time progressed. The Spirit wrote the Law onto my heart while I was still in the depths of the Kingdom of Darkness, so that I became not only conscious of sin, but convicted mightily as well. In response to this, Liar had me throw the walls of arrogance even higher than he ever had before. He told me that I was not only destined to be a prophet of God, but that I was to BECOME God-- the Holy Spirit in the flesh-- by the merging of Liar's consciousness with my own that was to occur during the Cataclysm, after which I was to be revealed as who I was. He even taught me how to look at people's auras so that I can discern potential friends from those who are ignorant and avoid ever being in a situation like the one with Mary again.
In Fall of 1991, I enrolled at the University of California at Riverside after graduating from Rim of the World high school the previous summer. Liar told me to go to this school, despite the fact that I was accepted at USC, because he said that he had important work for me there. The first person I met there was Tom, a long-time follower of the New Age movement who had seen very little spiritual things, but was eager to see more. When I told him about Liar and the training I had received, he was ecstatic. Liar was ecstatic for some reason also. The reason became clear soon enough, however-- Tom wanted me to use these talents almost every second that I was with him, and Liar was eager to have me do everything Tom wanted of me. I even did things that I had never done before. Once he had me on an Ouija board, and a woman asked for her grandmother to respond through me. Suddenly, the board responded in gibberish. One of Tom's friends was writing it down, however, and when the response was done, the girl looked at it and starting crying, for the response was in German, and her grandmother lived and died in Germany. Neither me nor the other person on the board knew German. Liar had me start using crystals with my candle divination rituals, and he started to teach me how to meditate.
That was when I met Susan. Susan was with a New Age group that Liar wanted me in very much, for reasons that I didn't know. I found out, however, when I went to the meeting, for the head of the group was a woman named Gloria who has been walking with the New Age movement for 20 years. When I started talking to Gloria, I realized that I recognized who it was that I was talking with-- she had the fourth spirit that I was praying to inside of her! Liar had led me step by step straight to her ever since I was thirteen.
Gloria also recognized me, as our two demons were apparently communicating for years, and she immediately took it upon herself to instruct me in the proper use of various crystals and especially about the philosophy of reincarnation. She kept me running in circles by hinting to Susan that I had made a promise in another life to one of her previous incarnations about something in this life. However, she also agreed that I was destined to be a prophet in the same fashion as Christ (or their image of Him) in today's world. However, I had problems believing in reincarnation, for it didn't click with me that I could make a binding promise to Susan that would transcend lives like that. So, Gloria had me go through a regression ritual, where I would relive pieces of my past lives. What I saw was an image of a beach in Israel, (Liar hinted to me that it was Israel, to me it looked like any other beach...) and Gloria told me that I was experiencing my life as the Apostle Peter, and that she wanted for me to see this so that I wouldn't be surprised when I am martyred. So, she had me experience that life's death. I didn't know how Peter died; I assumed he was stoned to death. So, I "experienced" being stoned to death. It was very convincing, but it was NOT real. The regression ritual simply is a form of hypnosis, and one cannot "experience" anything beyond what one's own mind believes. Sadly, many people who are skeptical about reincarnation go through with this, and believe because they have "experienced" some of their old lives. To them, I have only this to say: Peter wasn't stoned; he was crucified upside down!
"Just as man is destined to die ONCE, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many people; and He will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for Him."
Once I had met Tom, Susan and Gloria, it was a time of incredible darkness in my life. Not only was I being trained in the use of the "gifts" that Liar loved to have me use, I was also being trained on how to destroy the faith of Christians by running circles of logic around their heads so that they no longer search for the will of God to guide them, but they rely on their own arguments and logic to try to defeat the Kingdom of Darkness. I did this to a woman who was raised in a Christian household, but had never received the Lord Jesus into her heart, and shortly after I was done with her, she fell into a carnal lifestyle and gave up the faith. I became incredibly arrogant-- even to the point of no longer considering myself human because mere humanity could not contain who I perceived myself to me. I had truly become a warrior of darkness and a declared enemy of God.
Yet, Jesus had different plans for me. The more I exalted myself and the more "gifts" I mastered, the more the rift in my heart became apparent. Susan and Gloria taught me about the Karmic Law, which states that anything bad you do to someone else is returned to you three times and everything good you do to someone else is returned to you ten times. It is the Karmic Law that is the centerpiece of the New Age movement, for Karma is their key to "spiritual growth," and is the basis by which the New Age movement claims to compatible with all religions, for they believe that all religions give their faithful members "Good Karma." Well, the Karmic Law is simply a lie that tries to make sin something temporary. Yet, although I believed in Karmic Law, in my heart I knew it was a lie, for the Spirit of Truth was testifying with my heart that no matter how much punishment I received via the Karmic Law, the fact remains that I had intentionally hurt Mary. Even by the loose standards of the New Age movement, that's bad. I knew in my heart that I was a sinner, and that all sin leads to death.
At the end of March, 1992, I was spent. I was more "powerful" than ever-- I had the ability to do nearly anything I wanted; yet, I was more miserable than ever-- for I believed that I was virtually a god, but that sin that I had committed against both God and Mary couldn't be resolved. Susan and Liar tried to keep me confused with all of the reincarnation stuff. Gloria said that I wouldn't grow any more until I made the choice to toss away my burden and train without regret for the Cataclysm. However, the rift in my heart had become something I couldn't ignore any more, and that started me to think about ending my life.
The Lord really knows when to move. Just as I started to become suicidal, there was a group of students open-air preaching on campus. Liar told me to go over and heckle them, and I agreed. So I went over to where they were and started listening for holes in their argument so I could try to rip it to pieces like I did with others. However, the speaker was talking about the love of Christ, how He loved us so much that even though He lived a life without sin, He died for us to pay the price for our sins in our place. So now, we can place our sins on His shoulders by having faith and accepting His sacrifice on our behalf. Liar was telling me to yell at them, but what they said made sense. Instead of yelling at them, I accepted an invitation to their Bible study meetings and went. Needless to say, Liar screamed bloody murder in my head.
They were studying the book of Daniel, chapter 3. In that chapter, three men were thrown into a burning furnace by Nebuchadnezzar, the ancient world's answer to Adolf Hitler, for refusing to bow down to a gold idol. Yet they were saved by one who had the appearance of "a son of the gods." That intrigued me. So, despite Liar's vitriolic abuse, I returned next week when they were studying Daniel chapter 4. Daniel 4 is Nebuchadnezzar's testimony. It's the story of how one of the most evil and prideful men in all of history was humbled by God, how he repented of his sins and received salvation (a worldly one for the moment, for Jesus hadn't yet been crucified.) It opened my eyes that God could love a man such as this and was still willing to save him. Here, in the Old Testament hundreds of years before Jesus was born, a wicked pagan was shown the saving grace of Christ's love. If God could go so far as loving Nebuchadnezzar, then surely he could love me. If the salvation of Jesus Christ can transcend time and space to save this wicked ruler, then surely I too could be saved.
Liar was my best friend no longer. He taunted me and tried to keep me from doing what was in my heart, but it was to no avail-- immediately after the Bible study was over, I went to an empty area of campus and prayed to receive Christ on March 30th, 1992. Two days later, I talked to Susan and confessed to her my decision to accept Jesus into my life. She told me that it was no problem-- there are many Christians in the New Age groups. She said that I could continue to come to the meetings and Gloria wouldn't hold anything against me. For the first time in my life, I felt the presence of the Spirit in my life. Although I didn't know any better, the Spirit testified to me that I can never go back. So, I told her that I would never return again, and I haven't. Tom accepted the news with a little disappointment, as he knew that I wouldn't be doing any more rituals for him. Liar, however, went off. I didn't know demons had such an incredible mastery of the art of insulting someone.
On the following Wednesday, April 7th, I saw a girl in my metaphysics class that I recognized. She had tried to talk to me a few weeks before, and as I usually did, I tried to read her mind to see her real motives for talking to me, but I received nothing. Curious, I tried to read her aura, but she had none. At the time, I freaked, because I thought that she had no soul. So, when I saw her in class, I was edgy, but at the top of the paper she was using for notes, she drew a large cross. It was then that I remembered that nothing worked on Mary, either, and she was a Christian.
After class, she introduced herself as Amanda, and she asked me if I were a Christian. I told her yes. She said that the Lord told her that she should talk to me several weeks ago, but she knew that I was in the occult and was afraid that I would try to cast a spell on her. She invited me to a fellowship meeting the following night at 7:30 PM. I agreed, and she said that she would meet me there. The following night, with Liar spewing forth every kind of threat there is inside my head, I met her outside the building. But, as we were going to go inside, Liar seized control over my body. At first, my legs froze up, then I felt what seemed to be like a giant hand close over my throat. I could still breathe, but I could not speak at all. Then, I lost control over my arms-- I could still move them but they were useless for anything useful such as grasping objects or even supporting myself when I toppled from my legs being frozen. So I lie there, seized and in bondage to a demon who I had asked to control my life five years before. Amanda went straight into prayer. She commanded Liar to be bound in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and for him to leave me, for I was now Christ's and he had no power over me. Liar had no choice but to leave. My arms regained their function, then my throat cleared up and my legs operated again. But I remember this-- Liar kicked me in the head on the way out.
After he was gone, Amanda laid hands on me and prayed for Jesus to fill me with the Spirit now that the demon was gone. He did, and mightily so, too. Then we prayed together for what must have been an hour. Then, I removed the two onyx and silver amulets that I wore around my neck and gave them to her with the specific instructions to dispose of them so that they would never harm anyone ever again, for I used them often while I was in the occult.
When she left to dispose of them, I went into the bathroom to clean myself up, and there was an open window there that led into the trees behind the building. I knew all I had to do was crawl out of the window and vanish, then I could go back to the New Age group and get back everything I had lost, or I could leave through the front door, walk away from everything that was my old life and in faith accept whatever it was that was to be my new life. Once again, I was standing between the Kingdom of Light and the Kingdom of Darkness. It wasn't easy, but I knew what I had to do. I walked out the front door, and for the first time in my life, I knew peace.
I was saved because the Spirit had worked powerfully in my life and because there were faithful Christians who were willing to submit themselves to the will of the Father, such as Mary, Amanda, the Christians who were boldly proclaiming their faith despite the fact that they knew that they might receive retribution for what they were doing, and the Bible study leader who was willing to talk to me and help disciple me into the Truth that is the kingdom of God. Please understand-- the Kingdom of Darkness is all too real, but so is the victory that those who have committed their lives to Christ have over it!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Liar was a demon who did what demons do best-- lie. To Christians, demons love to tell that we don't have victory without striving in the flesh to achieve it. But Paul writes in Romans 7:7-25 that the flesh is incapable of achieving victory over sin, for the flesh is what is still in this world, and it is what the demons work through to get us to sin. No; victory comes not because we have the strength to say no to sin, but because we have God on our side, and therefore we have the strength to turn Him when we are tempted and ask for Jesus to save us from this body of death, and he does.
There were times when I would strive to do the will of God, then fall into sin, confess it and try to do the will of God again. My very soul was torn because I couldn't continue to do the will of God, and I began to doubt that I had true victory. As a result, I had wandered in my faith for a long time, doing my own will rather than God's and feeling miserable because I thought that meant that there was something wrong with me. Recently, though, the Spirit led me back with this simple truth:
Do you believe you have victory? Well, no.
Do you believe that you are saved? Yes, definitely!
Then you have victory through Christ; it's that simple.
Friend, if you feel like you are just getting beaten by temptation, sin, or that you must work to somehow earn righteousness, then you have bought a lie that is trying to lead you away from the Truth-- ALL believers have victory over the Kingdom of Darkness through faith in Jesus Christ, for we have died to sin, so sin has no power over us any more! All we have to do is claim it! If a commander of an army has certain victory over his opponent, he does not just sit down and beg for surrender-- he claims his victory by smashing his opponent into oblivion! Likewise, the victory is ours, we must claim it! Friend if you have not received Jesus into heart as your Savior and Lord, do so! Pray to Jesus and ask Him to take the burden of your sins from your shoulders and take control of your life, so that you can be made holy. He is faithful, and will do so! If you have received Jesus into your heart, then He has set you free to the bondage of sin; don't let yourself be enslaved by it again, for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. [Romans 6:15-23] Instead, offer yourselves to the Father as slaves to righteousness, and commit yourselves to doing His will every day of your life, and pray often to be filled by the Spirit, so that you may fulfill the desires of the Spirit, instead of the desires of the carnal nature. [See Galatians 5:16-26]
Friend, if you are tempted, pray. Submit all that you are to Jesus, and He will use you in mighty and glorious things, so that you will not gratify sin but rather uplift the brethren and save many lives. The people who obeyed Christ and by doing so helped God to save my soul did battle with demons and the very powers of darkness by their love and obedience to the Lord. Should you encounter a demon who has seized another person, Jesus has given you the ability to use His name to bind the demon and send it away.
Lastly, put on the full armor of God. Read Ephesians 6 and pay close attention to what each piece of the armor is, and how it is used, so that we can be effective warriors for Christ and claim the victory that is ours by the blood of Christ.
God bless you all.
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